he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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