Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
