Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
high people should be assigned attendants
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize