Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
