Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
