im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
