you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
