Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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