ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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