Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Randomize
