Quick, to the slutcave!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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