im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
