i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
