fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
