Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
