I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
