if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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