Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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