i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
