So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
