did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
