There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
