Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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