I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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