Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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