So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
