It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
