i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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