No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
