yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize