I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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