we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
