I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
