I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
