He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
