it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
