oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
