I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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