Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize