I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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