"it" just moved
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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