she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize