i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
