i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
