he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
