My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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