I wish I could punch you in the face.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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