Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
