Cold hands, warm shart.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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