Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
