Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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