My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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