You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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