NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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