Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We talked him into tasing himself.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
