i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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