lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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