I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
