Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
