The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
