There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
