Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize