Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
