you guys were way drunker than both of me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
