is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
