I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
