Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
