New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
