next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
