Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
