I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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