wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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